The Quest for Everything

The Selfish Years

2012-02-12T19:12:00.000-05:00

"the 20s are your selfish years. Its a decade to immerse yourself in every single thing possible. Be selfish with your time and all aspects of you. Tinker with shit. Travel, explore, love a lot, love a little, and never touch the ground." -Kyoko Escamilla photo source

Things Not to Worry About

2012-02-08T20:27:00.000-05:00

I'm a worrier. It's true. I think most people tend towards either anxiety or depression as they get stressed - a sort of hyperactivity versus an immobility. I'm certainly the former. Part of how I cope with being busy, and an outlet for my hyperactivity, is to make lists of all the things I have to do. But this sometimes serves to stress me out as often as it de-stresses me. So as part

project happiness

2012-02-06T22:02:00.000-05:00

"it is easy to be heavy; hard to be light" - GK Chesterton I have a confession to make: February is my least favorite month of the year. Not because of Valentine's day, which I actually always enjoy, but because it's always the thick of winter - when there's not really great snow, but it's still pretty cold, when the sun is still coming up too late and setting too early for me to see much of

the nurse and the locksmith

2012-01-31T09:26:00.000-05:00

I've been out in the country for my outpatient rotation, which involved seeing patients whose families had been in the area for hundreds of years, lots of procedures, views of the innerworkings of a small hospital, some dangerous drives in the snow on unplowed, unsalted roads, and staying with an older couple who opened their house to me. The best part was that I got to remember why medicine is

Markings of Birth

2012-01-23T06:34:00.002-05:00

I'm in rural Vermont without internet for a few weeks, but I dipped back into town long enough for a little skiing, a little time with friends, and to post this video, courtesy of my friend Arielle about the beautiful changes of a woman's body** that happen after pregnancy. And how even though abdomen's may not be flat anymore (though they can be), they have scars that tell such a story. (

It's Complicated

2012-01-09T22:59:00.003-05:00

After having a few too many not-so-enthusiastic responses to my starting to tell people that I'm going to be an ob/gyn (YES it's true! And that's short for obstetrician gynecologist for anyone who is thinking how in the world do I pronounce that) I decided that I needed to write a letter to myself about why I want to do it. Not because I'm not sure, but so I can reflect back on it whenever I

we can burn brighter

2011-12-23T11:09:00.002-05:00

happiness is like a train on a track/coming towards us/stuck still/no turning back -Florence and the Machine On a long run with a friend the other day, I was going through all the next big decisions I have to make, all the things I feel I need to figure out about my next steps and how many things I just don't know yet that I feel I should know or need to know soon - and she just said,

what makes the biggest difference in your health?

2011-12-13T17:16:00.001-05:00

After many months of treating really sick people and watching them take drugs with life altering side effects, undergo procedures with lost of risks, be connected to tubes and pumps and monitors to stay alive, and return to the hospital still not feeling very good, I truly believe we have to focus more on preventing people from getting to the point where it's clear they forget what "healthy"

Easy as 123

2011-12-07T14:17:00.001-05:00

By the Kaiser Family Foundation, finally an easier explanation of health care reform. Except it still seems confusing. Sigh - at least it's a start. Though I don't know what this is about stopping the huge increase in medicaid/medicare funding to hospitals and doctors - maybe the total amount paid to doctors and hospitals from these programs has increased, but the reimbursement rate has

the pet awesome

2011-11-30T19:32:00.001-05:00

so a friend just introduced me to the concept of pet awesomes. what is a pet awesome, you might ask - well, it's like the opposite of a pet peeve. It's something pretty non-significant that makes you pretty happy. For example, for this friend it was watching guys who clearly work out their upper body in the gym so that each of their six triceps are defined - but can't run to save their

How to Live as a (temporary) Nomad

2011-11-23T17:15:00.000-05:00

because I like to think I've mastered it a little... 1. yoga podcasts & yoga mat (it's good exercise and good relaxation at the same time, AND portable) I've had a lot of requests for good podcasts and here are my two favorites to check out: Dave Farmar Kindii McCollum for extra awesomenss, play epic music in the background - I like either the Lord of the Rings pandora station or James

Stereotypes and Tents

2011-11-16T21:15:00.001-05:00

A friend of mine just sent me this awesome article written by Mindy Kaling, one of the writers of the office, about female stereotypes in film that are absolutely ridiculous - but we love them, and maybe crazier, start to aspire to be like them or think we are like them. For example: The Woman Who Is Obsessed with Her Career and Is No Fun at All I regularly work sixteen

Four Agreements

2011-11-13T09:31:00.001-05:00

A good friend just told me about her experience with a physician who saw a lot of highly educated patients whose stress was contributing to deteriorating health. She said that the first thing he would do would be to listen, and then he would recommend this book: The Four Agreements, by Miguel Angel Ruiz. I'm going to actually read it (just waiting for it to arrive in the mail!), but in

10 things I learned in surgery

2011-11-09T16:23:00.001-05:00

1. the enemy of good is better (otherwise known as, doing more isn't always the right move) 2. the art of being a surgeon is first knowing when NOT to do surgery 3. when asked a question that you don't know the answer to, first: say you don't know, then say what you do know (as in, we don't know if she's going to recover fully but we do know that her kidney function has returned to normal more

You just stop stopping it

2011-10-31T12:29:00.004-04:00

When asked how you restart the heart after stopping it temporarily to put it on bypass, the perfusionist said to me: "It's zen-like, really, you just stop stopping it" Thursday around noon I scrubbed into my first Cardio case - a CABG (coronary artery bypass graft) surgery on a 74 year old woman who we'll call Elizabeth. The procedure is done by taking a blood vessel from somewhere else in

the matrix

2011-10-24T08:25:00.002-04:00

In my world right now this makes so much sense: "So [given your extensive training and how hard you work] in your heart of hearts - why do you not quite feel like [you know everything]? The experience of a medical and scientific education is transformational. It is like moving to a new country. At first, you don’t know the language, let alone the customs and concepts. But then, almost

getting stuck

2011-10-13T20:30:00.000-04:00

today I was first assist on a below-the-knee amputation on an older man with diabetes. It's a pretty brutal operation - as in, they actually use an actual bone saw, a very large knife and it's less possible than I thought it would be to precisely cut off the muscle in someone's leg. But somehow I do have the stomach for surgery - so even though at moments it seemed like a halloween trick gone

Home ?

2011-10-10T16:42:00.004-04:00

Normally this is not really a photo blog. But it's been a rough six months of moving around every 7 weeks (heyyy third year of medical school) that sometimes it feels like I'm always too far from everyone I love so here's a photo blog reminder (for me, and maybe for all of you?) that my concept of Home has become an incredibly fluid concept that has less to do with location and more to

Surgery at the End of Life

2011-10-06T20:52:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking a lot this week about how strange it is that so many people are choosing such serious interventions for medical problems that are likely to not be their cause of death. Don't get me wrong, we can do really amazing things with surgery and interventions now that save lots of lives and maybe even more importantly, improve the quality of life for so many people. But it still

Stay Hungry Stay Foolish

2011-10-05T21:20:00.004-04:00

An extraordinary individual who changed the way we see the world and each other. "your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.

Gift from the Sea

2011-10-05T20:41:00.001-04:00

an excerpt from a reading at a wedding my friend Rachel went to recently (and she so graciously sent to me because she knows me well and knew I would love it - thanks Rachel!!) EXCERPT FROM "THE GIFT FROM THE SEA"~ By Anne Morrow Lindbergh ~ When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie

Coaching

2011-10-05T18:44:00.001-04:00

last night I was on call and around 4pm, a young guy came in with a gunshot wound to the knee. Before I knew it, I was four hours into my first vascular surgery with the young guy on the table, both legs sliced open on the medial (inside) side). The two surgeons I was working with were using a vein from one leg to take the place of the severed artery on the other leg, called "grafting" an

human touch

2011-10-04T07:02:00.001-04:00

A ted talk by one of my favorite doctor-writers: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "wasn't that the definition of home - not where you are from, but where you are wanted?" -Abraham Verghese

on call pocket

2011-09-28T23:17:00.002-04:00

I dumped out my pockets in the middle of my call today to change scrubs and was shocked at all the things that came out. so I took this picture. the contents of my pockets today include: - 1 surgery book - 2 pagers (trauma pager and my pager) - glasses - pen - stethescope - watch (bc you can't have it on when you scrub) - gum (gotta have fresh breath in the OR) - extra

focus on the fraud

2011-09-27T19:05:00.000-04:00

just a quick little post to tell you about an op-ed in the NYT about how medicaid and medicare (not to mention all of us taxpayers who pay for these programs) are swindled out of billions of dollars each year because of health insurance fraud. this editorial calls for the US and state governments to crack down on these false claims, securing the collapsing system from at least one side. I like

Trick Yourself Into Faster, Higher, Better ?

2011-09-24T15:16:00.002-04:00

If I put you on a stationary bike in front of a video game screen with an avatar riding a bike and told you that the avatar would be going at your own personal best pace - would you try stay with it? Would you beat it? What if that avatar was actually riding a bit faster than your best pace, but I didn't tell you? Do you think you'd still beat it? A recent article sent to me by a

The Mind of a Surgeon

2011-09-23T22:08:00.003-04:00

(and yup, that ones actually me - in my lead suit to protect me from x-rays! - can you tell I'm smiling?) today in the OR I was talking with the PA who was first assisting about the Whipple procedure we (really she and the attending) were working on. A Whipple is a procedure most often done for pancreatic cancer, but because the pancreas is sort of hidden within all the folds of the

Welcome to the Monkey House

2011-09-21T15:21:00.002-04:00

Day 1 of Surgery I'm introduced to my first preceptor, a surgical oncologist who we'll call Ted. Ted spent most of his life in Texas (and has a thick southern drawl to prove it) before he became a surgical chief and a Colonel in the Marine Corps for many years before going into private practice. So the first thing I have to figure out is do I call him Doctor or Colonel or both. Within

10 Things I Learned in Ob-Gyn

2011-09-19T15:25:00.000-04:00

1. body language matters. for ob-gyn's, where you stand before, during, and after an exam makes a huge difference in the comfort of the patient. Pushing your naked butt forward while your feet are in stirrups towards someone you can't see who you know is about to use a speculum is so much more nerve-racking than someone standing beside you and saying, please scootch down until you feel like

Before I die I want to...

2011-09-15T09:06:00.000-04:00

check out this incredible urban art by Candy Chang, an installation artist, urban planner, and TED Fellow who created this awesome piece in NOLA about all the things that people really think are important. The wall was filled in a single day. (click on the photos to make them bigger) What would you write? (this last one lists two of my big hopes as a

Immortality

2011-09-12T08:30:00.000-04:00

"it was the story of white selling black, of black cultures 'contaminating' white ones with a single cell in an era when a person with 'one drop' of black blood had only recently gained the legal right to marry a white person. It was also the story of cellls from an uncredited black woman becoming one of the most important tools in medicine. This was big news" - The Immortal Life of

Two Towers

2011-09-08T22:17:00.002-04:00

This is from the NYT special report on Sept. 11 - I always love portraits but these are especially amazing because they also have audio that you can click on to hear people's stories of the day. It's a scary yet ultimately uplifting reminder of the slogan of my blog - everything (and everyone) is connected. These stories may be different than yours or mine, but we all share the memory of

soaking up summer

2011-08-31T10:57:00.003-04:00

This past weekend (pre-hurricane) a group of us decided to capitalize on summer and go on a 30 mile bike ride out to waterfalls with the added bonus that these waterfalls happen to be right next to the best brewery around. game face ON, check. (~9am) and we're off! check out that beautiful scenery in the background we stopped at a farmer's market about 25 miles in and got some fresh tomatoes!

controlling birth

2011-08-28T13:31:00.005-04:00

we just had two of the most excellent lectures in medical school so far on Friday - one, on birth control and one on abortion - strikingly and unfortunately related as access to one decreases the amount we have to see the other. it made me realize that while I've touched on lots of women's health issues, I haven't talked about either one on this blog. BIRTH CONTROL first (because I have to be a

burger party

2011-08-23T22:00:00.005-04:00

If you've been reading any of this blog lately,you may be wondering if I ever leave the hospital, if I ever see anyone who is not wearing the pseudo-smurf outfit that is surgical gear, if I talk about anything besides vital signs and not getting enough sleep, if I ever play outside or have any fun at all.I find myself sometimes wondering the same thingwhich is why I'm glad for nights that remind

connection to the wild

2011-08-20T09:25:00.004-04:00

"The way to maintain one's connection to the wild is to ask yourselfwhat is it that you want. This is the sorting of the seed from the dirt.One of the most important discriminations we can make in this matter is the difference between things that beckon to us and things that call from our souls."-Clarissa Pinkola Estes,author of Women Who Run with the Wolves

Where are all the grown-ups?

2011-08-17T22:06:00.004-04:00

Today I had two surgeries (by "I had" I mean I generally watched and held things): one was a dramatic robotic surgery that was more difficult than they thought it would be so they converted to an open surgery. The second surgery was a suction evacuation of a woman who had had a failed termination of a 9 week pregnancy 3 weeks before and subsequently developed an infection along with not actually

first test of motherhood

2011-08-11T17:03:00.007-04:00

around 4am last night, on the 26th hour of my 28 hour call day, I was standing at the side of the bed of a 29 year old woman who was trying to push out her first baby and screaming "help me, help me, help me. I can't do it. I can't do it" and I was thinking (amidst telling her she was safe, her baby was safe, that she was doing a great job, to KEEP. FREAKING. PUSHING.) that birth is really the

10 Things I Learned in Pediatrics

2011-08-01T21:09:00.003-04:00

1. it matters what medication tastes like. kids will stop taking medication altogether if you give them something icky. the peds floor might be the only floor in the hospital where patients actually prefer to take medication per rectum...2. talk to the whole family. in peds especially, but in all medicine, it matters what - and who - makes up the environment that someone heals in3. kids

move your body

2011-07-20T19:30:00.000-04:00

this is overdue, but props to michelle obama's campaign against childhood obesity:http://www.letsmove.gov/and because it's my NEW FAVORITE THING EVER: beyonce/michelle obama's movement to end childhood obesity with sick dance moves: check out the video here.I may or may not know all the moves now :)

the people we used to be

2011-07-10T20:37:00.003-04:00

some sage advice from a quote cited by a friend today in a discussion on how we're all still becoming who we are, every day, and the importance of remembering all the many people we - and all our friends - were before. we got to reflecting about just how much our ideas of what makes us happy and what we want in the future have changed, especially since starting medical school, from the visions

2 times 2

2011-07-09T15:09:00.009-04:00

so last night was my last night call on pediatrics and it was AWESOME. instead of being in the ER admitting really sick kids all night (which we also did, and which I also really like, actually), we got to be the peds team for a C-section of newborn twins!!!and then we got to do it again for a C-section for ANOTHER SET OF TWINS!it was a little crazy for a while with the second set because they

Code Red

2011-07-06T14:17:00.003-04:00

I had my first night call on peds yesterday. "What is night call?" you might be wondering (I'm looking at you, mom and dad) Well, for me - it means that for this week instead of arriving at the hospital at 6am and leaving at 6pm, I arrive at 6pm and leave at 6am (or whenever the senior resident sends me home).Yesterday, my fellow med student and I rolled into the hospital at 5:30pm in scrubs,

wax on, wax off

2011-07-03T12:35:00.007-04:00

the manfriend and I went on a run the other day and talked about the goals of third yearas in, WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING RIGHT NOW?it's such a strange middle state between the past few years of everything being about how much we learned, and years before that (and years to come) of us being actual working people who are performing a job and a service that is important. I've been feeling

hating (a little) on hospitals

2011-06-27T18:24:00.000-04:00

that's my backyardI definitely needed to do some yoga back here after work todayI feel sooo lucky to be living here.so after my first week of inpatient (meaning, actually in a hospital), I'm not sure it's the place for me. I know that it's only been a week and I've spent most of it running around exhausted, not sure where I'm supposed to be or what I'm supposed to be doing. But is that maybe

Elastic Doctor Women

2011-06-21T21:52:00.007-04:00

an anesthesiologist recently wrote an op-ed about women in medicine where she discusses how the personal decisions made (mostly by women, she says) about having children should be taken into account when we're deciding who to admit to medical school and residency programs. And I quote: "I have great respect for stay-at-home parents, and I think it’s fine if journalists or chefs or lawyers

a good day off/how viral pharyngitis can be a good thing

2011-06-21T13:28:00.005-04:00

I had a pretty awesome but definitely less-than-restful weekend - my fault of course, for how much I packed in, but I truly wouldn't have wanted to miss any of it. After a 50 hour week plus driving 2-4 hours/day (another 20-30 hours), I woke up early on Saturday and drove an hour to attend a Pediatric Conference (so great) then had lunch with a friend from college I hadn't seen in forever (

people first

2011-06-11T21:04:00.003-04:00

"the difference betweenthe right wordand the almost right wordis the difference between lightningand the lightning bug"-Mark Twainbefore I headed south (though not as far this time), I had a section of my pediatrics clerkship focused on Family Centered Care. This included a lecture on children with disabilities and how providing good health care for kids means understanding the impact on (and of

what love means (from kids)

2011-06-09T12:54:00.005-04:00

I have just been loving pediatrics and working with kids, partially because you just never know how they're going to react. In keeping with the theme of my life right now, my mom sent me a link to this website about how 4 year old's answer the question "what does love mean?" so profound. (I've copied and pasted below straight from the article):A group of professional people posed this question

new to the world

2011-06-09T12:01:00.002-04:00

after spending yesterday in the pediatric cardiology clinic, seeing babies and children who had lots of different heart problems, today I spent the morning in the newborn nursery, doing exams on all the new babies that had been born in the past 24-48 hours and didn't have any serious problem that would take them to the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit). it was pretty spectacular, not only

may the clay dance to balance you

2011-06-01T19:41:00.001-04:00

because he's one of my favorite poets and I feel so blessed to be back in town: Beannacht (Blessing) On the day when the weight deadens on your shoulders and you stumble, may the clay dance to balance you. And when your eyes freeze behind the grey window and the ghost of loss gets in to you may a flock of colours, indigo, red, green, and azure blue come to awaken in you a

Why Medical School Should Be Free

2011-05-29T20:56:00.003-04:00

I have to post this whole article from the NYT because I have only one comment: YES! YES! YES! the system should not be set up to herd us into fields like dermatology and radiology (no offense to those fields at all) because they have nicer hours of work. We need dermatologists and radiologists, but not as many as family medicine doctors, pediatricians, internists, palliative care specialists,

10 Things I Learned in Family Med

2011-05-26T20:43:00.003-04:00

1. Everyone is doing the best they can with what they have (even if sometimes what they have is a history of an alcoholic mother and bad coping mechanisms)that one needs a pause for emphasis. okay, next:2. Trust but verify. (Ronald Regan, about the Soviet Union)3. Manage the unavoidable and avoid (or prevent) the unmanageable (-Friedman, about climate science)4. Try not to work too much harder

last minute question

2011-05-25T19:33:00.002-04:00

My last patient yesterday was a 15 month well child check. Matthew (we'll call him) was a healthy boy with soft brown curls who came in with his mom and maternal grandfather (who told me to call him Grampy with a huge proud smile on his face) and proceeded to run all over the exam room. We slowed him down just long enough for me to examine him and go through my exam with the resident with whom

5 changes towards better primary care?

2011-05-23T20:49:00.002-04:00

From the Archives of Internal Medicine via the Wall Street Journal Health Blog, physician's responses to the question "What could primary care physicians do differently to benefit patient's health and cut risks, harms, and costs?" They grouped them into lists based on specialty, so Family Med, Internal, and Peds (the trio of primary care) said: (directly quoted here from the Health Blog)Top Five

public health and zombies

2011-05-22T07:55:00.006-04:00

I learned a few things this week about the CDC's Public Health campaign in a NYT article this morning that I want to share with you:(1) the CDC just published a report on the 10 great public health achievements in the first decade of the 2000s (2001-2010) that includes better tobacco regulations, better vaccine availability, improved maternal and fetal

let it go

2011-05-21T19:48:00.004-04:00

let it go - the smashed word broken open vow or the oath cracked length wise - let it go it was sworn to go let them go - the truthful liars and the false fair friends and the boths and neithers - you must let them go they were born to go let all go - the big small middling tall bigger really the biggest and all things - let all go dear so comes love ~ee cummings

for the Exhausted

2011-05-21T09:47:00.004-04:00

Trying to balance clerkships, studying, and continue to run around, cook healthily, and be slightly social can get pretty exhausting. Even though I'm pretty sure studying for boards was more exhausting because there was none of the invigorating challenge of solving diagnostic puzzles and helping people get healthier, I've had this poem on my desktop for a while and have found myself referencing

the sick baby test

2011-05-16T20:12:00.002-04:00

the past few weeks I've seen a lot of babies. babies with pneumonia, babies with strept throat, lots of babies with rashes, lots of babies with ear infections, lots of babies who did something strange and so their mom/dad/aunt/grandpa brought them in so that the doctor could tell them everything was okay. at the beginning, my attending said, "okay, Erica, there's a 1 year old in room 22 who has

Summer Salad Frenzy

2011-05-15T11:59:00.006-04:00

now that I'm working 12+ hour days and only really about to start the really time-consuming clerkships, I've asked an expert for some advice on adding some more delicious veggies to my every day in a way that doesn't require a ton of time or money. bring on the deliciousness! Here's some quick salad recipes with which to experiment: start with your favorite salad mix: I like half

you are beautiful and have so much to offer the world

2011-05-14T08:16:00.005-04:00

today I met Natalie*, a 18 year old woman who just had her first baby this winter. I wasn't even supposed to meet her - but my preceptor's last appointment didn't show up, so I asked one of the nurse practitioners if I could work with her for the last hour of the morning. she sent me into Natalie's room saying, this should be an easy one. Come out and get me in 10 minutes when you're

becoming great

2011-05-09T22:23:00.004-04:00

quote of the day from an xkcd comic strip about women in science:"but you don't become great by trying to be great,you become great by wanting to do something,and then doing it so hardthat you become great in the process"photo source

best black bean soup recipe

2011-05-08T17:23:00.007-04:00

looking for something delicious and easy to cook this evening? here's a recipe that will make your belly smile, healthy, filling, and you can eat it in many ways for the next week (adapted from Chris's recipe) Black Bean Soup (serves 4-6?) In the pot ingredients: 1 29oz can black beans (they're the bigger ones) 1 15oz can whole corn 1 large onion 1 green bell pepper 1 jar salsa

Should Doctors be Taught About Addiction?

2011-05-04T11:23:00.004-04:00

Q: Should Doctors have training in addiction medicine? A: YES! YES! YES! check out this article from the Florida Post about whether doctors need more training in addiction, especially if they are prescribing highly addictive substances. It's even cooler because it talks about how cool it is that UVM students are rotating through a Drug and Alcohol Addiction Rehabilitation Center as part of

seduction of location

2011-05-02T21:50:00.017-04:00

Q: what kind of location seduction are you ready for right now?because recently I've become such a nomad in my clerkship rotations - and don't see any end to my nomadic-ness in the near future, I've been starting to think about places I want to live the way I think about relationships. As in, I think about qualities I'd want in a perfect one, what situations in which they shine, what are their

I say to my heart: Rave On

2011-05-01T17:20:00.007-04:00

And I say to my fingers, type me a pretty song.And I say to my heart: rave on. -Mary Oliver, A Pretty SongHappy May Day!photo source

halfway across the bridge

2011-04-30T20:01:00.005-04:00

I want to tell you a story about a patient I just met. I'm going to tell you his story in his words and then I'm going to tell you his medical story - or rather, his story put to medical language.Jack* is a 55 yo man who lives nearby with his four grandchildren (ages 4-11) who have lived with him since their mother died and absolutely adore him. He lets the 8 year old paint his nails and do his

right here, right now

2011-04-28T22:54:00.007-04:00

"and though the breezes through the treesmove so pretty, you're all I seelet the world keep spinning all aroundyou hold me right here, right now"-jason mraz, lucky*just worked a 14 hour day with virtually no letup - it was pretty awesomestay tuned for some incredible stories.right now? sleep.photo source

Quick Little Beats

2011-04-26T19:29:00.006-04:00

today was amazing.I heart got to play with babies AND hear fetal heart sounds! Each time I placed the machine in the right place, I felt my heart leap my throat and my eyes tear up because it was so incredible!the beat is so quick and you can actually hear the valves open and close. I think I was happier than some of the moms - even the really happy ones. I actually said to the first mom "Oh

Book Review: Every Patient Tells A Story

2011-04-22T11:37:00.008-04:00

Q: What book have you read lately that feels really relevant? A: I have two actually - one is Zeitoun, by Dave Eggers, which tells a story about one family's experience with Hurricaine Katrina, the disaster that was the response to it, and the prejudice against Islamic Americans in the aftermath of 9/11. Until I read Dave Eggers narrative, I don't think I truly grasped just how horrible

the role of a physician is NOT

2011-04-20T16:04:00.006-04:00

The past few days have been focused on many issues that mainly affect women - obviously this interests me a lot, both because I am a woman and because I'm interested in women's health. I reviewed pelvic exams yesterday and breast exams today, talked about prenatal care and the changes that happen during pregnancy, then learned how to do an endometriol biopsy and place an IUD, talked all about

intubation

2011-04-18T22:22:00.005-04:00

this past week I had a "bridge week" between clerkships where we learned all about Anesthesiology. which really means 5 big things: *I went into an OR during a surgery for THE FIRST TIME. (I know what you're thinking, your FIRST time in an OR? how long have I been in medical school? but yup... I also felt the need to announce that it was my "very first time in an operating room"

Children After 30

2011-04-12T10:31:00.004-04:00

According to new research, older parents are happier than younger parents. It seems that before the age of 30, parents with children are less happy than people without children. However, by age 40, the trend shifts so that people with children are happier. Additionally, the researchers found that this varied a lot by culture - in cultures where most support later in life depends on family,

10 Lessons of Psychiatry

2011-04-11T14:38:00.009-04:00

I met today with a small group of students who also just finished their psychiatry rotation to share some of our experiences and some of the emotions it brought up in us - a sort of "burn out prevention" group, as the psychologist facilitator said. As we went around the room sharing our experiences, I realized my peers and I were stating the big lessons of psychiatry. They were funny,

babies going through withdrawal?

2011-04-10T21:03:00.002-04:00

From an article in the NYT today about babies who were exposed to opiates in utero and the intense withdrawal they go through when pregnant women try to quit "cold turkey" - seems incredibly relevant given all the opiate addictions I saw in Florida. stay tuned for a top ten list of things I learned during my psych rotation!“Most of the literature suggests consistently that the drug exposure

The Ryan Plan for Medicare AKA: break it.

2011-04-08T08:34:00.003-04:00

In an extremely well-written editorial yesterday, Paul Krugman explains why Representative Ryan and the Republicans overhaul of Medicaid to save money is not just ludicrous, but cruel (actually that's the title of his editorial). In short, it would switch Medicare funding to private insurers which would INCREASE the cost initially by adding middlepeople (hence, ludicrous). AND it would create

Quack in a Box

2011-04-07T13:09:00.003-04:00

As a slight respite from writing about how psych is affecting how I view medicine and myself in medicine, I wanted to share this darkly humorous game that I read about on a great blog written by physicians about health policy. I love board games and they've been a great escape when we're out of the hospital into a land of set rules. This one might be a little too close to home... While I

International Medical Service Corps

2011-04-03T10:29:00.006-04:00

A NYT article this weekend discusses some of the stories of physicians working in other countries. More physicians (and new graduates from medical school!) are interested in working abroad than ever before; this makes sense, as our world becomes more and more connected, refugees from poorer, war-torn countries have entered all of our lives, and we read every day about other countries falling

What Makes the ER Attractive

2011-04-02T12:33:00.006-04:00

In case you are one of the four people who has not read it yet - the NYT had an article this morning called "More Physicians say No to Endless Work Days" about how physicians are shifting their career choices more towards ER and hospitalist jobs, where they care for patients in the hospital, but when they leave the hospital, their obligations to their patients leave with them. This is attractive

SURRENDER

2011-03-31T21:24:00.007-04:00

*** My name is Erica and I could be an alcoholic someday. Seriously. Many of the people I've interacted with who are battling addictions have life stories that are somewhat similar to my own: some family history, drink alcohol socially in their 20s, sometimes falling short of my expectations for myself, and as a future physician, I actually have a higher risk of becoming an addict than

the world inside your head

2011-03-30T21:33:00.007-04:00

psych is a lot of listening to peoples stories, then sorting through very emotional interpretations of events (real or imagined) to get to what they're really trying to tell you, which is what they think is wrong, what they're worried about, and why they came to you for help. it seems like this could be all of medicine, but I feel like getting to the meat of the story is harder in psych because

glimmer of hope

2011-03-28T21:14:00.011-04:00

these photos made me happy~~~~~~~~~~~since I've been chronicled mostly the really difficult parts of psych, I thought I'd give you a brief tour of a few patients I saw today who made me smile (HIPPA-protecting all their important info, of course):*a mother of five kids with ADHD (ages 3-7) who was seriously the peppiest person I have ever met. ***a 45 yo man who had been diagnosed with severe

Red Queen Wisdom

2011-03-27T12:20:00.006-04:00

Q: how do you escape? My Answer right now: I have found re-discovered my love for novels (or maybe just rediscovered how to create time to enjoy them ??) since classes have ended and clerkships have begun. My favorite escapist genre is fantasy/science fiction, I think because it allows me to explore possibilities beyond that which we believe exist. I also think working in

A Little Weekend Reading

2011-03-26T11:55:00.008-04:00

(this is a little bit how I felt this morning - but a nine mile run and a very very large smoothie perked me up a bit - enough to catch up on some reading)To entertain you this weekend, here are two awesome articles to check out addressing two MAJOR questions in health care (and in my life right now).(1) Is it legitimate when people refuse to have doctors-in-training or even just young doctors

into the light

2011-03-21T21:27:00.006-04:00

This is (completely unrelated to the rest of this post) a photo of me and my grandma when my grandparents came to visit me in Florida! We went to an awesome state park where we saw sting rays and lots of fish, as well as tons of flowers and trees that we had been missing - SO MUCH COLOR! Then we had delicious fresh fish at a little Italian restaurant we found. Later we discovered a

all the knowledge in the internet

2011-03-16T17:02:00.004-04:00

I have to share with you a really awesome mental health website:www.mindsontheedge.orgwhich I actually learned about from one of our lecturers who taught us about schizophrenia.they follow two imaginary patients, Olivia and James, as they develop and are diagnosed with psychiatric illnesses. Throughout, they have many different types of experts, including Justice Breyer, psychiatrists,

the liars club

2011-03-15T13:00:00.000-04:00

After almost three weeks of my rotation on psychiatry, I’m still fighting not to become cynical of everyone. Every day I talk with people from all walks of life, of all ages – all of whom have had horrible things happen to them, have done horrible things to other people, and feel trapped in a world where only horrible things happen. It makes sense that they develop alternate realities – whether

International Women's Day

2011-03-08T21:48:00.009-05:00

Since Tuesday was International Women's Day, here are some fun articles to check out about women followed by some fun quotes:*Why is a picture of Obama, a man, my photo for international women's day? Because I believe that feminism is a belief that women and men are equally valuable that needs to be shared by men and women alike. Check out Nicholas Kristoff's article about the many men who are

White Elephant Alien Army (Psychosis)

2011-03-04T18:52:00.010-05:00

Somehow I made it to the end of week 1! After a pretty busy morning, we video-chatted into lectures for a few hours in the afternoon (mandatory) from our condo, then went for a long run around the golf courses nearby.But don't let that make you think my week was easy - this week I've learned firsthand about psychosis:Q:What does psychotic mean?(1) they could have a diagnosis of schizophrenia;

BI-WINNING - aka "I just blinked and fixed my brain"

2011-03-02T21:12:00.011-05:00

why the picture of Charlie Sheen? well, because when I watched this video today, recommended by the staff of people I work with because it is waaaaayyy too familiar. here's a sorta breakdown of my day:5:30 am: wake up because7:30 am: arrive at inpatient psychiatry unit and begin "pre-rounds" with the nursing staff.this involves going through all the new admissions files and try to figure out

welcome to CLERKSHIPS!

2011-03-01T15:32:00.000-05:00

http://doccartoon.blogspot.com/2011/01/tips-for-third-year.html

Flow Rider and the Baker Act

2011-02-28T07:30:00.001-05:00

I made it to Florida! And besides the weather in the 80s, the sweet park across the street that runs through tons of golf courses and During our orientation today we learned that much of our work in inpatient psychiatry will be related to Florida's "Baker Act" - the Mental Health Act of 1971 that allows physicians to involuntarily hold someone for psychiatric examination if they: A) have

to give a name to the problem

2011-02-26T17:00:00.000-05:00

Q: Who is your best critic? What makes a good critic? When I was home (post-boards) last week, I attended a lecture by author Tracy Kidder where he talked about the dynamics of his relationship with his editor (and now friend) and the qualities one needs, as a writer, in a critical eye. He had some really profound thoughts, including: "you become what you pretend to be" (said to Kidder

chase to the cut

2011-02-25T12:24:00.011-05:00

Q: what do you do to mark a new start? A: get a haircut In one of my many talks with my favorite stylist (M salon in Cambridge, MA), he told me that women often cut their hair after a break-up or at the start of a new job or after graduating from college - as a sort of symbolic "starting anew" and shedding of the past. since I'm headed to FLORRRRRIDA this weekend (eek!) I decided to shed my

surround yourself with comfort

2011-02-18T13:55:00.001-05:00

Question: what makes you feel suuuper comfortable? Or better, what do you seek out when you need a little (or big) dose of comfort?Since I'm about to become a medical student nomad and basically live out of my backpack in various apartments around the country for the next (2?) years, I decided I should use my post-boards, pre-nomad time to come up with a few things that I can try to bring with

wishes

2011-02-13T22:55:00.008-05:00

"Dear eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11, and birthday candles, DO YOUR JOB (please)." -unknown Question: What kinds of wishes do you make on birthday candles? I thought this quote was fitting both for valentine's day and the week that I take the Boards (and for all my wonderful friends who also take the boards in the next week or so). I had a

a life of love

2011-02-07T19:45:00.030-05:00

Question: what does love look like to you right now?last night= me + chocolate chip cookies + milk + fireplace (+ ... yup, qbank and books). but still... it was pretty warm and cosy feeling nonetheless.and as valentines day approaches, for a little reminder of how big love gets, (and because I love montages) a photo montage about what love means to me right now:UPS truck photo source"you don't

On Waking

2011-02-04T19:02:00.007-05:00

Question: what prayer or saying do you feel resonates with you right now? so I have a complicated relationship with religion and spirituality, which I think can be said for most people - especially most people around my age who are far enough from the traditions of their parents and close enough to figuring out what traditions they will want to have for their own children to be thoughtful

getting un-stuck

2011-02-01T17:10:00.008-05:00

Question: In what situation, relationship, moment are you stuck right now? the latest of my mom's wisdom: so you know when you see a stick caught in between some rocks in a too-low creek or a tide pool, how the urge is to kick the rocks or kick the stick to free it, but really all it needs to get unstuck is more water, higher tides. she said that how this metephor translates to real life

Maybe There is Something to The Struggle

2011-01-24T19:19:00.007-05:00

Question: what's the best way to study?As I'm spending the vast majority of my waking hours (that photo is of some un-waking hours, but the books are not too far away) these days studying for the first Test of All Tests of the path of a physician - Step 1 of the Boards - I had about five different people send me an article about how best to study/learn that showed up in the NYT this week.So much