June 2, 2008

in praise of the man who asks questions

Question: What book have you read recently that has given you insight into the ways people interact with one another?

My answer: I recently read Free Food for Millionaires after seeing Min Jin Lee (the author) speak - and while it wasn't life changing, I found the novel to be absolutely compelling because it's a wonderfully written account of several very different people's voyage through "the odyssey years". When I heard her speak, she explained that it is a book about grace - or rather, the attempt to navigate these crazy years gracefully.

The part I find myself recounting to others is actually about a relatively minor character, an investment banker who is a super smooth, handsome, wealthy guy and quickly identified as the guy who sleeps with everyone (in a totally attractive way, obviously). What's fascinating is that it's not his looks or even his charm that makes him so good at seducing the world, but that he understands how important attention is to a woman. How little things, like watching a woman completely as she walks away, on the off-chance that she turns around and notices - make all the difference.

If I were to give one general seduction tip (and this has been confirmed by many) it would be this: ask lots of questions... and then actually pay attention to the answers.

"Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired"
-Robert Frost

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