since my life is now mostly studying, I'm hanging onto every outside of studying moment and trying to truly suck the marrow out of each moment. Being so fully "on" and absorbed in the things going in and out of my own head forces me to have to think more in interactions with other people (because I'm doing so much less of it, it feels strange - in a good way). But I think is it's allowing me to notice different things. how soothing the sound of a friend's voice, how your body seems to warm from the inside out when you sit next to a fire, the change that comes with the slight buzz from one very infrequent glass of red wine, the feel of powder under your skiis, how awesome it is to wake up in a room full of your friends sleeping and to know that in mere moments, you'll all be awake together again.
This past weekend was full of some blissful moments - read: skiing moguls ALL DAY on Friday until I was seeing visions of moguls every time I closed my eyes, ending the day with all you can eat pizza at a cute little shop in town discussing the ways different religions teach us to see God in each other, ourselves. more on this when my mind works again.
followed by (more studying, then) snowshoeing in southern VT, making delicious feasts, and hanging in an outdoor jacuzzi with 3 of my closest woman friends in med school, topped off with a few episodes of Alias to vicariously be badass women. LOVE that show.
But mostly it's been studying. There's only a month left. Which makes me feel nervous (ONLY a month!?!) and excited (because after that month...) - but enough of that. let's talk about bliss again.
to fill out the blogpost - because you definitely don't want me to start talking about lung function tests, and because there's something about a really good kiss that puts all other moments to shame, an excerpt from one of my absolute favorite poets, Saul Williams' book, "Said the Shotgun to the Head" (a book introduced to me by an old friend):
"Have you ever lost yourself in a kiss? I mean pure psychedelic inebriation. Not just lustful petting but transcendental metamorphosis when you became aware that the greatness of this being was breathing into you. Licking the sides and corners of your mouth, like sealing a thousand fleshy envelopes filled with the essence of your passionate being and then opened by the same mouth and delivered back to you, over and over again - the first kiss of the rest of your life. A kiss that confirms that the universe is aligned, that the world's greatest resource is love, and maybe even that God is a woman. With or without a belief in God, all kisses are metaphors decipherable by allocations of time, circumstance, and understanding"