I love how the process of having a baby, especially the last really tricky labor part brings out so much of a couple and you really get such an intimate view of their relationship. I love when people laugh in labor (because if you can laugh in labor...) Even the couples who are clearly so nervous, you can tell how much they love each other. being surrounded by all this love and new beginnings and creating of families is amazing - but also reminds me on a daily (nightly?) basis how little I'm seeing my own family, including the manfriend. so today, when I got out early at 6:45 and it was beautiful out, I practically ran home in order to see the manfriend for a good 30 minutes of alert and awake time together (as in, I was alert and awake - he was mostly mumbling but smiling). It's funny how we've learned how to tend to our relationship - how we've learned that even those 30 minutes, however tired and grumpy and hungry we are. And it reminded me of this amazing poem by the def poet Taylor Mali, which I think fits in with a lot of conversations I've been having with friends lately about their own relationships, it's called:
Falling in Love is Like Owning a Dog
first of all, it's a big responsibility,
especially in a city (like New York)
So think long and hard before deciding on love.
On the other hand, love gives you a sense of security:
when you're walking down a street late at night
and you have a leash on love
ain't no one going to mess with you.
because crooks and muggers think love is unpredictable.
who knows what love could do in its own defense?
On cold winter nights, love is warm.
it lies between you and lives and breathes
and makes funny noises.
Love wakes you up all hours of the night with its needs.
it needs to be fed so it will grow and stay healthy.
Love doesn't like being left alone for long.
But come home and love is always happy to see you.
It may break a few things accidentally in its passion for life,
but you can never be mad at love for long.
Is love good all the time? No! No!
Love can be bad. Bad, love, bad. Very bad love.
Love makes messes.
Love leaves you little surprises here and there.
Love needs lots of cleaning up after.
Sometimes you just want to get love fixed.
Sometimes you want to roll up a piece of newspaper
and swat love on the nose.
not so much to cause pain,
just to let love know, Don't you ever do that again!
Sometimes love just wants to go for a nice long walk.
Because love loves exercise.
it runs you around the block and leaves you panting.
it pulls you in several different directions at once,
or winds around and around you
until you're all wound up and can't move.
But love makes you meet people wherever you go.
People who have nothing in common but love
stop and talk to each other on the street
throw things away and love will bring them back,
again and again and again.
but most of all, love needs love, lots of it.
And in return, love loves you and never stops.