June 9, 2012

that little number

I just got back from a quick jaunt in NYC where my sister and I got to do one of our most favorite activities - walk for hours and just catch up.   So many interesting ideas came up that I'm excited to write about soon, but one theme that struck me was an age old theme for women.  I am surrounded by so many beautiful women in my life.  And what's more - they're smart, funny, brave, clever, inspiring, strong, and kind.  And yet we all have this little number in the back of our heads that we think "If I saw that on the scale, I'd be happy".  This isn't news, I realize.  But what is, at least for us, is that most of the time when we, or the women in our lives, actually weigh that magic "happy" number - we aren't that happy.  I was at my lowest weight since the beginning of highschool this past year - but I was not sleeping, was moving around so much that I never felt settled, much less home, was more lonely than I've maybe ever been, and super stressed.  And that's how it works for most of us - that silly number is only achievable when we are too stressed or busy or out on our own to enjoy anything - including long dinners with family or walks along the beach with friends instead of a quick intense workout.  In some ways those 5 (or 10...) pounds signify that our lives are full of enough joy and love that we choose to spend time with friends and family instead of working out or choose to go out with friends for a beer a few times a week or to celebrate a friend's birthday with a whole lot of chocolate cake.  So the question occurred to us: what if those few pounds - that we stress and distress over - are really just your happy weight?  What if "filling out" a little bit, symbolizes our lives actually being more full?  If the answers are a resounding yes (which it is for us), then maybe we should try being a little more grateful, a little more tender towards the other, real, number.

And for fun, a little ode to the amazing and beautiful women in my life, otherwise known as a trip down memory lane:

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