This past weekend was my 5th year reunion - which was amazing.  More soon.  

But as part of it, I went to see Cecil Richards speak about Planned Parenthood and all the "debate" over women's reproductive rights.  

Then, we went a little fan girl on her and got a (pretty blurry) photo with her.

she's on my hero list.

And she reminded me about this video that students made in response to Congress making it their first priority of the session to cut funding to Planned Parenthood.  

but she also talked about how Planned Parenthood is now better funded than ever before, that more people know that over 90% of everything that the funding goes to is for preventative health care services for women  like mammograms and pap smears (not abortions).

They really couldn't have gotten all that publicity without these ridiculous debates.

Her discussion of the new PP website reminded me of seeing Dan Savage talk about It Gets Better - when he thought, "Why am I waiting for parents and teachers to invite me into their children's schools - I can just put it up on youtube and everyone will see it".  The same thing with Planned Parenthood - since improving sex education in schools is such a slow, frustrating process - why are we waiting for parents and schools and local governments to permit us to give youth information about safe sex when we can just put it on the internet and the youth can find it themselves?

Now you can actually text a live representative of Planned Parenthood any questions you have - no matter how emergent or basic - and they'll figure out how to give you information or help.  

"Ask any woman and she'll tell you: health care for women is more expensive than it is for men.  In fact, during their reproductive years, women spend 68% more on health care than men do.

-Rod Blagojevich

just like owning a dog

I love how the process of having a baby, especially the last really tricky labor part brings out so much of a couple and you really get such an intimate view of their relationship.  I love when people laugh in labor (because if you can laugh in labor...)  Even the couples who are clearly so nervous, you can tell how much they love each other.  being surrounded by all this love and new beginnings and creating of families is amazing - but also reminds me on a daily (nightly?) basis how little I'm seeing my own family, including the manfriend.  so today, when I got out early at 6:45 and it was beautiful out, I practically ran home in order to see the manfriend for a good 30 minutes of alert and awake time together (as in, I was alert and awake - he was mostly mumbling but smiling).  It's funny how we've learned how to tend to our relationship - how we've learned that even those 30 minutes, however tired and grumpy and hungry we are.  And it reminded me of this amazing poem by the def poet Taylor Mali, which I think fits in with a lot of conversations I've been having with friends lately about their own relationships, it's called:

Falling in Love is Like Owning a Dog
first of all, it's a big responsibility,
especially in a city (like New York)
So think long and hard before deciding on love.
On the other hand, love gives you a sense of security:
when you're walking down a street late at night
and you have a leash on love
ain't no one going to mess with you.
because crooks and muggers think love is unpredictable.
who knows what love could do in its own defense?
On cold winter nights, love is warm.
it lies between you and lives and breathes
and makes funny noises.
Love wakes you up all hours of the night with its needs.
it needs to be fed so it will grow and stay healthy.
Love doesn't like being left alone for long.
But come home and love is always happy to see you.
It may break a few things accidentally in its passion for life,
but you can never be mad at love for long.
Is love good all the time? No! No!
Love can be bad. Bad, love, bad.  Very bad love.
Love makes messes.
Love leaves you little surprises here and there.
Love needs lots of cleaning up after.
Sometimes you just want to get love fixed.
Sometimes you want to roll up a piece of newspaper
and swat love on the nose.
not so much to cause pain,
just to let love know, Don't you ever do that again!
Sometimes love just wants to go for a nice long walk.
Because love loves exercise.
it runs you around the block and leaves you panting.
it pulls you in several different directions at once,
or winds around and around you
until you're all wound up and can't move.
But love makes you meet people wherever you go.
People who have nothing in common but love
stop and talk to each other on the street
throw things away and love will bring them back,
again and again and again.
but most of all, love needs love, lots of it.
And in return, love loves you and never stops.

night float

so I started my month of night float on labor and delivery two weeks ago (or was it three?  the days sort of blur together when you leave work, sleep for a few hours and come back to work and it's the same day)  you'd think wishing so many new people their first birthday I'd at least know what day it is, but usually I don't.

what is night float?, you may ask -
well I go in around 5:30 pm, change and get ready for sign-out at 6pm, take over patients from the residents who have been there during the day and then manage all patients who are already on the floor or who come in laboring over night, then I sign out around 7am the next morning back over to the day team.  Usually this is followed by a lecture or a didactic session until about 8:30 or 9, after which I bike home, shower, maybe eat something, and crawl into bed to sleep for a few hours before heading back in later that night.

it's a total shock to the system, to say the least, but it's also pretty amazing.  babies are definitely meant to be born at night.  if you take an evolution view, if you're going to be in a state where you are pretty unaware of your surroundings and spending all your energy on something that leaves you pretty defenseless - best to do it when it's easier to hide and there's less going on in the forest.

it's been an amazing few weeks of actually getting to deliver babies, managing women in labor - and learning what's normal and what's not, how to follow the heart tracing of a baby about to be born, how to check the cervix as it gets ready to open and let a baby out, and getting the honor of supporting women in some pretty vulnerable - but also incredibly powerful moments, it's truly awe inspiring and even though I'm exhausted, I don't know if there's anything cooler or more exciting than helping a new life come into being.

some tips I have for anyone working nights (this is also so when I'm a resident on months of night float I can look back and remember what I did to make it through):

1. first thing you do when you get home is shower.  I don't care how tired you are, [other people's] amniotic fluid should not be on your sheets.
2. bring lots of healthy snacks - especially water-heavy snacks (fruits, veggies, just plain old water)
3. when you wake up (or if you feel alert before heading to sleep): work out.  even if it's short, ugly, traumatic - there's not a day when it will feel good so if you start using that as your measure if you should go work out, it'll never happen.
4. make your off days count - get in a good run, go on a good date, take some lazy slow moments
5. have easy to prepare delicious food at the ready - it's good to still try to eat meals, even if you don't know what meal you're eating (otherwise you're just snacking, literally 24 hours).
6. make sure everyone around you knows that you're on nights, and that they should lower their expectations of you temporarily as a friend, partner, roommate, daughter, etc.
7. drink coffee when you wake up.  not too much, not to often, but just enough. (stop at palpitations)

that's all for now.  gotta grab some healthy snacks and head out for another night of birth!

positive psychology

a friend recommended that I check out this TedTalk by psychologist Shawn Achor about positive psychology, and then I found another one by psychologist Martin Seligman, and got kinda of obsessed with this whole positive psychology thing: 

the study of not just relieving depression but of actually making life better.

Shawn Achor is hilarious - and also talks about "the medical school syndrome" where as you learn about all the diseases and syndromes that could happen you soon learn that you have them.

"If we study what is merely average, we will remain merely average"

And then Martin Seligman talks about three types of good lifes:

1) the pleasurable, 2) the engaged, 3) the meaningful

I actually found the "engaged life" description the most interesting, as the other two seem pretty self-explanatory.  He discusses the difference between pleasure and engagement as the difference between feeling happy and not feeling anything at all because you are totally and completely absorbed.

when he said that I realized: 

I would take absorbed over happy almost any day.

(note the ALMOST - there's gotta be room for some "just because it feels good" times too)

check them out for yourself: