women | letters to a daughter

found this gem from the UK Times' caitlin moran in a letter to her 13 year old daughter.  It's not only very english, it's hilarious and profound:  it begins with first, be kind.  Last, never start smoking - it's like a baby dragon that will eventually burn your house down.   so good!

my favorite wedding readings

it's been a tough few months for me and my family.   before processing some of that stuff on this blog, I'd like to have a purely happy post about wedding planning (!!)   after much combing through all beautiful, thoughtful words on blogs and books galore, I thought I'd share them here.

First, an excerpt from the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court Decision that made the state the first to authorize gay marriage:

"...marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideas of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family...Because it fulfills yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity...marriage is an esteemed institution and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life's momentous acts of self-definition"

Next, a poem from Maya Angelou:

Touched by an Angel 
We, unaccustomed to courage
exiles from delight
live coiled in shells of loneliness
until love leaves its high holy temple
and comes into our sight
to liberate us into life.
Love arrives
and in its train come ecstasies
old memories of pleasure
ancient histories of pain.
Yet if we are bold,
love strikes away the chains of fear
from our souls.
We are weaned from our timidity
In the flush of love’s light
we dare be brave
And suddenly we see
that love costs all we are
and will ever be.
Yet it is only love
which sets us free.

Finally, a poem from Neil Gaiman

This for you, for both of you,

a small poem of happiness
filled with small glories and little triumphs
a fragile, short cheerful song
filled with hope and all sorts of futures

Because at weddings we imagine the future
Because it’s all about “what happened next?”
all the work and negotiation and building and talk
that makes even the tiniest happily ever after
something to be proud of for a wee forever

This is a small thought for both of you
like a feather or a prayer,
a wish of trust and love and hope
and fine brave hearts and true.

Like a tower, or a house made all of bones and dreams
and tomorrows and tomorrows and tomorrows

photo credit

the thrill of hope

the thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices

for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn

this christmas, I feel like I have grasped a new meaning of christmas -

hope in a time of the greatest darkness.

hope for the weary.

as one who has truly joined the ranks of the weary this year, I am feeling more and more touched by the spirit and wonder of christmas.  chris and I are back from hawaii with his family and up in the northeast with my family to celebrate and rejoice for the next week. just this morning, my dad and I picked up antepaste for the coming feasts and the line at our favorite italian market in town was literally out the door.  no worries though, as the ten guys and ladies behind the counter were pros, the guy took my order (of about 10 different things) and got it all just right. ofcourse, while we were waiting, I also got to hear about what was in the stuffed peppers and sample christmas cookies and sopressa that the woman next to me offered straight out of her basket, saying I just must try them.  I love the holidays.  family, joy, hope.  so much hope.

speaking of which, enjoy this beautiful flash mob by berklee students at the MFA in boston:

On Holiday

I made it! I am halfway through intern year as an ob-gyn and I finally have my first vacation!  

My plan was to try to take two weeks in a row over the holidays because this way we could spend time with Chris' family and my family- but it meant a lot of waiting for all my days off at once.  Now that I'm here - in Hawaii (!!) and on vacation with no near end in sight, I'm so glad we did it this way.

This is my early morning view from the hotel balcony.  Pretty sweet, huh?  I've been getting up earlier than everyone by several hours because not only am (was) I on east coast time, I was on residency east coast time, meaning up at 4:45, asleep by 10:30.  It has actually been great though, as it has given me a few hours to myself before the rest of the day starts to reflect and get a bit of studying in.  

But the days have been just perfect for vacation for me.  Wake up with hours to reflect or work our by myself. Breakfast and then heading out - to a beach, for a hike, something active! Then by he time the rest of the world is up and crowding us, we are ready to head back for lunch and calmer afternoon activities like swimming in the pool, playing board games, and reading on our own.  It's a bonus that my niece (5 yo) and nephew (2yo) are here, as they provide oodles of entertainment!  We have definitely had all sorts of vacations in the past but right now this balance of play and rest, balance of together and solo really works.

How is your ideal vacation time spent?

Since not only us but also my future brother and sister and law are planning a wedding, we have been talking a lot about how to organize future family vacations.  My other brother and sister and law (the ones with the kids) said they have just decided to alternate thanksgiving and Christms between their two families each year, and now have coordinated with his whole family so they all do the same thing.  We decided we should just all coordinate with them.  That way, we can all plan with our other families well in advance.

How do you organize the holidays with your families?  

As mine gets bigger and more wonderful. We are still finding new ways to navigate it so that we get to revel in everyone's company.

That's all for now, got to get back to he vacationing! 

Happy and Merry holidays!

e

Tuesday Poetry: What more was Paradise?

This week's poetry selection comes from a book my dad gave me for Christmas this year. 

This year I asked my family to each give me a book that meant something to them.

My dad gave me this one:

it was given to him by my grandfather, from his mother

so it's my great-grandmother's poetry book!

A Mountain Pastoral

by Lucy Larcom

A couple at a cottage door,

Under the maple trees;

A mountain landscape stretched before,

behind, beside; and nothing more

the passing traveler sees.

And is there more?  The man and maid

Who caught your idle glance

Love's pretty hide-and-seek and played

Before they stood there in the shade,

Reading their own romance.

And he is young and true and strong;

And she is young and wise,

All hopes that to fresh hearts belong

Around their humble doorstone throng;

What more had Paradise?

Green are their waiting fields of toil,

With wildflowers blossoming sweet,

The living wealth no thief can spoil,

The boundless treasures of the soil,

Lie poured out at their feet.

Their neighbors?  Not far off are they,

Beyond the bright home hill - 

White Face, and Passaconaway,

And old Chocorua, rising gray,

Dreamy, remote, and still.

The future opens fair and wide

Within the young man's eyes;

The mountains bless the sweet girl-bride;

Life is a dream-land glorified.

What more was Paradise?

Pelosi Rocks

Nancy Pelosi articulately fields a question from NBC reporter Luke Russet about whether or not she felt like not stepping down to make room for "young leadership" was bad for her party. Congresswoman Pelosi correctly points out 2 things: that men in Congress are never asked to step aside based on their age and that she came to Congress later than she might have if she were a man because she only ran for Congress after her fifth child was about to go off to college.

As one of the most successful Speakers of the House - and the person we really need to thank for promise and hope given by the Affordable Care Act, among many other things - it seems perfectly reasonable for her to continue her incredible career.

~~~~~~

"Let's for the moment honor it as a legitimate question, 

although it's quite offensive but you don't realize it, I guess"

- Nancy Pelosi (D-CA, Minority Leader)

Reproductive Ven Diagram

This past weekend I went to a friend's wedding in a beautiful park.  The friend had thought she was infertile so had been not using birth control (!!)  But, when she found out she was pregnant, she and her long time boyfriend were both absolutely thrilled.   They decided to get married and start a family all in one year - all things they had hoped to do in the near future anyways.

The way she put it was "I feel like in the ven diagram of when I should have children, the circles are overlapping the most right now - so I want to do it".  She only gave a few examples of circles, but I sort of ran with it.

Here's my image of how this would look - I could have kept adding circles...

How do your circles fit together?

On another note, during the ceremony, they read this poem by Kuan Tao-Sheng (1262-1319):

MARRIED LOVE

You and I
Have so much love,
That it
Burns like a fire,
In which we bake a lump of clay
Molded into a figure of you
And a figure of me.
Then we take both of them,
And break them into pieces,
And mix the pieces with water,
And mold again a figure of you,
And a figure of me.
I am in your clay.
You are in my clay.

In life we share a single quilt.

nemo and pasta con le sarde

Recently, my family gathered all together at a big house with a pond.  While we were there, I also made this incredible (both in its deliciousness and its easiness) sicilian pasta recipe that I found over here and slightly (very slightly) adapted - and due to popular demand, have re-posted below!

As soon as we arrived, we jumped in the pond. 

I think Nemo is trying to save me.

I need to come up with a caption for this one :)

and without further ado, 

Pasta Con Le Sarde

Ingredients:

1 bulb fennel,

EVOO

2 tins 3.75oz each, of sardines in olive oil (wild is best according to Seafood Watch)

1 small can tomato paste

handful of pine nuts 

handful of raisins

4 cloves of garlic

box of spaghetti

salt and freshly ground pepper

olives, breadcrumbs (for garnish)

one large pasta pot, 1 frying pan or wok

Instructions:

1. put water in a pot big enough for your pasta on stove, bring to boil

2. cut off green top part of fennel bulb and put the whole bulb (the white part) in the boiling water for 10 minutes or until soft enough that you can stick a knife into it

3. while that boils: chop up garlic and fry in EVOO, using frying pan or wok 

4. add sardines to pan with garlic

5. crush them with the back of a wooden spoon so that they no longer look like sardines

6. add tomato paste, stir in

7. thin sauce to preference, using water from boiling fennel bulb (I used at least 4 cups)

8. take out fennel bulb, put pasta in boiling water

9. cook sardine/garlic/tomato paste/water on med-low for 15 min while pasta boils

10. chop up fennel bulb into 1/2 inch pieces (whole thing)

11. add fennel, raisins, pine nuts, and some of the whispy greens from the top of the fennel to the sardine mixture about 2-5 minutes before the pasta's done

12. drain the pasta, serve with heaping spoonful of sauce.

Buon Appetito!

And two italian phrases that will be sure to get you thinking:

"This is a sweet expression.  Il bel far niente.  [It] means 'the beauty of doing nothing'... 

There's another wonderful Italian expression: l'arte d'arrangiarsi - the art of making something out of nothing."

- Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love