medicine | unto you a child is born

It seems fitting to tell this story now, around Christmas, the world's biggest birthday celebration.

I came in to see one of my patients after she had a cesarean delivery after coming into the hospital in labor overnight.   I had spoken with her the day before in the office and she was very scared for a cesarean delivery and very much wanted a vaginal delivery, so I was curious about how the experience was for her.  She says, "They laid me down in the operating room. It was cold.  My husband was not there yet. They exposed my belly and put soap on me, then they put a big blue sheet up in front of my face.  Then they called my husband into the room.  I was scared.  But then I breathed in deep and tried to pray.  As soon as I started praying I realized my hands (out on the arm boards beside her) were like Jesus.  My position was the same as Jesus on the cross.  When I realized this, I relaxed and was happy.  The rest was fine.  My daughter is beautiful and my scar is small."

She was right, I realized.  It is the exact position of the image of Jesus on the cross.  A position symbolizing sacrifice.  In this case, sacrificing her ideas of how she thought labor and delivery were going to be for a healthy, happy daughter.

worth it.

~~~~~~~~

"Real magic can never be made by offering someone else's liver.  

You must tear out your own, and not expect to get it back" 

- Peter S. Beagle, The Last Unicorn

citizen | too young

One of the amazing things about living in such a vibrant and international city is the exposure to cultures and issues from everywhere in the world.  I recently stumbled upon this amazing series of photographs by National Geographic, where they asked their photographers to come up with one photo that was especially meaningful to their journey and explain why.  The photos are beautiful and you should check them all out.  One in particular got me a bit choked up - and reading more. 

words | WED3 wonders unseen and unseeable

1| the serial podcast 

like the rest of the world, I've eagerly become obsessed with this super compelling story and the podcast dedicated to parsing out the details of a real-life mystery.  I find myself trying to drive around the block in order to listen to just a little bit more. Podcasts are probably the best thing to ever happen to a car commute.  Are you listening?  What's your take?

Soul| meant for me

One of C and my favorite activities is to sing together. Neither one of us is very good but it makes us really happy.  Lately we have been singing some throwbacks including an embarrassing amount of Dave Matthews and basically all the songs played on Dawson's creek.  C surprised me before bed the other day by starting to play jewel's you were meant for me on his guitar.  We realized pretty quickly that we didn't know all the lyrics, so I looked them up - and they're actually pretty awesome.  My favorite line? "Consoled a cup of coffee, but it didn't want to talk".  So, for your inner middle schooler (or wherever you were in the mid 90s):

 "You Were Meant For Me"

I hear the clock, it's six A.M.

I feel so far from where I've been

I got my eggs, I got my pancakes too

I got my maple syrup, everything but you.

flashback | december

As is my tradition, here is a look back at what I was writing about during December's past -

what were you doing last year?  three years ago?  what or who do you miss about that time?  what are your themes? Apparently my themes for december are working in the emergency department, having fascinating conversations with older people about things that aren't quite what they seem, and reveling in being happy.  Sounds like the holiday season to me.  Enjoy!

(**as always click the links to be carried to the blogposts)

Dec 2013: happy in hawaii, first vacation with my (at that time future, now current) in-laws
Dec 2012 thinking about treating anyone who walks through the door including this woman:
When I would ask, "When did you last feel like yourself?" She would answer, "Blue."  
Dec 2011 sitting with happiness
Dec 2010 considering your internal age; visiting a nursing home for the holidays
Dec 2009 my first day in the  Emergency Department and pondering these words: I will try to help no matter what