words | not yet

Because I am surrounded by life's transitions - more lately - and often frustrated by them, a calming perspective today in the form of a poem by my favorite, Mary Oliver, whose new book was a lovely gift.  My grandfather passed on last year and I thinking of him as being a part of all things now.

I'M NOT THE RIVER

I'm not the river

that powerful presence.

And I'm not the black oak tree

which is patience personified.

And I'm not redbird

who is a brief life heartily enjoyed

Nor am I mud nor rock nor sand

which is holding everything together.

No, I am none of these meaningful things, 

not yet.

*as always, click on photo to link to original image

medicine | robots

my days are filled with robots.

no, really.  I started by gyn oncology rotation - which is part of why I haven't blogged in a while.  4am starts and the operating room all day leave very little energy or time for blogging.

but back to the robots.

robotic surgery is a (semi) new technology that has been embraced by gynecologists.  It is similar to laparoscopic surgery in that the instruments enter the abdomen through small holes and ports on the abdomen.  

In laparoscopy, however, the instruments are held and manipulated by human hands, like this:

In robotic surgery, the surgeon sits at a console just next to the patient, and the instruments are held in place and actually manipulated by robotic arms, like this:

(the patient is under the blue sheet)

the research is still mixed on whether the robot is actually cost-effective for the patient and for our system (meaning the super expensive cost of the  machine as well as the additional people required to run an operating room with robotic surgery translates to improved outcomes, shorter hospital stays, shorter recover times, etc), but from a surgeon point of view, it's an amazing way to operate.  

as I get farther into my ob-gyn residency, I'm thinking more about what I want to do when I finish residency, as the options in Ob-Gyn are very diverse.  this month at least, I love operating and think that offering my patients minimally invasive surgeries would be an amazing skill in my tool box.

PS: if you're interested in seeing a robotic hysterectomy video (not for the faint of heart), 

here's an awesome one here that is only 18 minutes (!!) long

soul | shine so bright

2015!

It is finally here.  

After a whirlwind, rollercoaster, highest highs and lowest lows of a year 2014 was, 

2015 has finally come roaring into view.

My overall goal for 2015 is to simplify; 

to just not make things more crazy and more complicated than they already are.

for tangible wins, each month I'll choose a word to be my monthly mantra;

to keep it as simple as possible, here's January's word:

one.

as in, 

one touch 

put things right where they're supposed to go from the start

one second

(to pause, to catch my breath)

one thing 

at a time

here's to beginnings!

*as always click on the photo above to be taken to the source!*

medicine | unto you a child is born

It seems fitting to tell this story now, around Christmas, the world's biggest birthday celebration.

I came in to see one of my patients after she had a cesarean delivery after coming into the hospital in labor overnight.   I had spoken with her the day before in the office and she was very scared for a cesarean delivery and very much wanted a vaginal delivery, so I was curious about how the experience was for her.  She says, "They laid me down in the operating room. It was cold.  My husband was not there yet. They exposed my belly and put soap on me, then they put a big blue sheet up in front of my face.  Then they called my husband into the room.  I was scared.  But then I breathed in deep and tried to pray.  As soon as I started praying I realized my hands (out on the arm boards beside her) were like Jesus.  My position was the same as Jesus on the cross.  When I realized this, I relaxed and was happy.  The rest was fine.  My daughter is beautiful and my scar is small."

She was right, I realized.  It is the exact position of the image of Jesus on the cross.  A position symbolizing sacrifice.  In this case, sacrificing her ideas of how she thought labor and delivery were going to be for a healthy, happy daughter.

worth it.

~~~~~~~~

"Real magic can never be made by offering someone else's liver.  

You must tear out your own, and not expect to get it back" 

- Peter S. Beagle, The Last Unicorn

citizen | too young

One of the amazing things about living in such a vibrant and international city is the exposure to cultures and issues from everywhere in the world.  I recently stumbled upon this amazing series of photographs by National Geographic, where they asked their photographers to come up with one photo that was especially meaningful to their journey and explain why.  The photos are beautiful and you should check them all out.  One in particular got me a bit choked up - and reading more. 

words | WED3 wonders unseen and unseeable

1| the serial podcast 

like the rest of the world, I've eagerly become obsessed with this super compelling story and the podcast dedicated to parsing out the details of a real-life mystery.  I find myself trying to drive around the block in order to listen to just a little bit more. Podcasts are probably the best thing to ever happen to a car commute.  Are you listening?  What's your take?