1 in 4 teenage girls has an STD?

The NYT published an article last week (the only week in so long I haven't read it, figures) on a CDC study of 838 teenage girls found that 1/4 of them had a current STD, what's more, 1/2 of all the African-American teenage girls who participated had a current STD. While I found some of the terminology problematic (infected girls, sex diseases, no real mention of teenage boys' roles in the problem, see a critique of its presentation in the Nation here), if this doesn't convince everyone that we are in dire need of a new approach to sex-education, I'm not sure what will! Clearly abstinence-only education is not the way to go, but other reports have shown that kids report knowledge of how to use condoms and the dangers of STDs, so there is still a critical piece missing between getting the information out there and kids actually feeling empowered and able to use it to make responsible decisions about sex.

On his NYT blog Will Okun talked about the need for more parental involvement in sexual education in reaction to the CDC report. His post was interesting (not sure if I agree) but I was more struck by a comment on it (by Lamont) on how our educational system can work most effectively: "It is my belief that a sound educational system resembles an equilateral triangle...with sides made up of parents, society/education system, and the students themselves. If one of the sides fails, the entire system fails. The issue is not to blame any particular side but to ensure that all sides work together to succeed."

I think this is true of any major issue (the three I would list especially are health, education, and jobs/labor) - that there needs to be the guidance role (teacher, doctor), the support role (parent, family), and the outcome factor (student, patient) working together to ensure the system succeeds. And sometimes I'm not sure that's even enough...

Charity vs. My Stock Portfolio?

While walking in the Tenderloin section of San Francisco to meet my friend for coffee after work, a few of us got to discussing giving money to the people who ask for it along Market St (if you're in SF, or on Boylston St, in Boston or any street that happens to have lots of people of mixed incomes traveling along it daily). Another friend of mine has a self-enforced rule that he gives some money to every seventh person who asks - he feels that this is the most objective way he can give money because it removes his own judgment of who the person is and what they'll do with the money.

But then our discussion extended to donating money to charities - ranging from buying a magazine from your neighbor's kid to fund after school programs to donating to The Global Fund yearly. One friend said the he simply felt that at this point, his money was more valuable in his own hands (in the form of paying for graduate school, stocks, etc) than it could be to a charity. He used Bill Gates as the ultimate example of how great wealth can have a shot at curing malaria in a way "a thousand small grassroots organizations never could".

I personally hold a lot of admiration for grassroots organizations as one of the few things that can break through a pretty difficult system to help peoples lives - and my experiences working with and for a variety of grassroots groups has more than confirmed this. But it's does appear that for the most part small organizations seem hold the seams together - helping people survive, and perhaps slightly improve, the right now - but that it does take a lot of money and a lot of organization to make big changes. We all need to find out which way is more conducive to our individual lifestyles (as they are or perhaps as we want them to be) - because the world needs both.

My current thinking is this: first pick your cause(s), then think about what you'd enjoy (and feel fulfilled) doing on a daily basis that is somehow working towards it/them. And check yourself every once in a while to make sure you haven't deviated from that too much.

If Ever

"She had to let herself drop down to the reality to enjoy him as he really was"
-Anna Karenina

__________________
(not now) If Ever
_________________
to get to the sweet core
where fear slips away
and warm kisses smother all doubt
the line between right and right now
seems blurry

you slide your hand down my spine
as I exhale warm air on your neck
there's no room between us
for uncertainty
no answers or thoughts or even questions

just your lips
my mouth
our taste

it's just -
and nothing like it should be.

Go Peel an Orange

It seems like every conversation I have lately focuses on the past or the future – and a general frustration with being unable to stay fully submerged in the moment…

I read somewhere that a technique for people who worry obsessively is "to peel an orange" when they feel themselves falling into a "worry cycle". The idea is that the sensation of digging your nails into the flesh of an orange combined with the immediate release of a citrusy scent plunges you into the moment – tuning all your attention into the source of those sensations

I wonder if this theory could be expanded to social interactions of 20 somethings. These are at their best exciting and fun, but at their worst are desperate or destructive. These actions include sexual encounters without intimacy and drinking too much too often - but also the not wanting to move away from a conversation that does grab us or the trying to recreate moments of spontaneous and unexpected connection, or even the wanting to try new and crazy things, in the hopes that something about it will grab us and pull us in.

Are these all just alternate versions of trying to sink our nails into something solid; will we do just about anything to be totally submerged in the now?

I'm beginning to think more often than not.

glorious morning muffins

Because I'm a morning person and it's been quite a glorious morning...

GLORIOUS MORNING MUFFINS

2 c. flour
2 tsp. soda
1/2 tsp. salt
1 c. cooking oil
1 1/2 c. shredded carrots
1 1/2 c. apples, peeled and shredded
3/4 c. coconut
1/2 c. raisins
1 1/4 c. sugar
2 tsp. cinnamon
3 eggs, beaten
1 tsp. vanilla
1/2 c. chopped pecans

Combine flour, sugar, soda, cinnamon, and salt in a mixing bowl. In another bowl, combine carrot, apple, coconut, raisins, and pecans. Stir in beaten eggs, oil and vanilla. Add this mixture to the dry ingredients, stirring until just moistened. Grease and flour muffin tins and spoon batter in. Bake in a preheated 375 degree oven for 18 to 20 minutes. Remove from pan and cool on rack.

(source: cooks.com and my friend's mother)